Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5423263 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 05:33:48 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5423118  want to buy Nike shoes for my Senior Prom because I dont want to use those ugly and smelly rental shoes. My color is white/black/silver, so can anyone suggest some Nikes that are mainly black and white?

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5423118 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 02:34:32 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5088230
And with time we did grow closer and she became more comfortable with me, even inviting me to go home with her and meet her parents which I knew was a big step for her, I even went to a wedding out of state with her. Fast forward a few months and when I was out of the state for business I was at a mall and I passed a Tiffany's and thought what a great way to tell her I love her for the first time with a great gift like that, I picked out a beautiful necklace and could not wait to get home to tell her I love her, moment of truth I give her the necklace and tell her I love her for the first time and her response is "Thank You" and that is all, no I love you back or anything. Low blow for me.

Fast forward to Christmas, her parents come into town and we spend a lot of time together and then I have to go home to be with my family for Christmas we exchange gifts and all is great. I come back a week later with presents for her that are from my parents and she loves them. I have elbow surgery the day before new years eve and she is right there taking care of me as any good girlfriend would do, we spend New Years at friends party and she is acting kind of funny, when I drop her off and I get home I ask her if everything is ok...no response. I get a call from her the next day telling me she does not know how to handle being in a serious relationship and is overwhelmed by everything and wants to take a break (In other words we know what means) devastated and in shock I did not know what to do, I did everything for this woman and a day after I have elbow surgery she decides to break up with me when I need her the most!

I did nothing to deserve this and nor do I know where to turn, we have not spoken since and this has left me with so many unanswered questions. I just wonder what she was thinking, what she tells people and how she could do something like this and hurt me without looking back! I am reaching out to everyone who has been in my shoes for advice and help and I apologize for the length of the post but I just felt like I had to say everything and this is not even everything.

Thank you for listening to me and I will appreciate any feedback

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5088230 Fri, 11 Feb 2011 16:09:00 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5052024 I had just started reading "It's a breakup not a breakdown" purchased by my sister as one of my birthday gifts this year. I am going through my big breakup, my first boyfriend and my first love. We met each other online through a mutual friend January 2005. Mr.Ex was in the U.S Army. We met in person that summer at a concert and fell in love. So we made it official that September. We were both 18 and in love. The first year in a half of our relationship, it was long distance but it was also the best two years of my life. He treated me with love and respect and I could not believe how lucky I was to find my love, my best friend and my soulmate. Then shortly after our 2 year anniversary in September 2007, he left me for another girl, a high schooler who was 17. I was devasted but I took him back. Things just kept going downhill from there. He said he left me because I did not show him enough love and I didnt call or text as I used to. I did, but I know not as much because I was pursuing my biology degree. March of 2008, he got fired from his medical assistant job for flirting with 2 receptionists. He got fired for "sexual harrassement" through text messaging. When I found inappropriate text messages on his sidekick and facebook, I had already told him to stop but he refused to listen to me. Instead of saying "I told you so" when he got fired, I took him back again. All of 2008, I took care of him, paid his bills, pampered him, took him out on dates, job hunted for him. He lost all motivation and just stayed home and played video games the whole day. Towards the end of 2008, he made online social networking profiles and starting meeting girls and flirting online. When I asked him why he did it, he says he just wanted friends since I'm not always available to be with him 24/7. He met tons of girls online about 25-30 and flirted with them all. I took all his BS and lies and he decided to shut down his stickam account. LIttle did I know, shortly after he reopened a new account under a new user name and made other online accounts such as tilatequilahotspot.com. 2009, was a new year and a new start. He got hired as a security supervisor in Feb 2009. He flirted less but he flirted with my younger sister's classmate online via chat. Shortly after our 4 year anniversary in Sept 2009, he started meeting girls on his iphone and going to raves and parties alot. The last straw for me was when he purchased a ticket to the Exotic Erotic ball which is a huge stripper/porn star rave. He did it without my consent and I was shocked and hurt. Why does he need to go to such a dirty rave when he has a loving and caring girlfriend? So, in October 2009, I dumped him and got together with a coworker of mine at work. We had a purely sexual relationship and in Dec 2009, I confessed to my ex that I had slept with someone else. He was devasted and sad. In January 2010, we decided to get back together. Mr.Ex took me back and gave me another chance. We were together for 2 weeks and during those 2 weeks, I CHEATED on him with my coworker 4 times. The next month, my coworker went online and told my EX that I cheated. After that, my EX was never the same. He treated me terribly, continuously emotionally abusing me calling me names. I felt so bad and guity for what I did that I spent all of 2010 making it up to him. I always went to see him, I gave him sex whenever he wanted, I bought him tons of gifts, showered him and showed him love. I wanted him to know how sorry I was and how I wanted us to have a new start. Nothing I did work. He said he lost all respect for me and that I made the ULTIMATE MISTAKE and that was cheating. He said he can never forgive me for that but I kept trying to make it up to him. There were other problems too like his suicidal problems. He's been depressed since he was a little boy and he always wanted to kill himself. He kept saying that what I did made he want to kill himself even more. I felt so terrible and guilty. September 2010, his child support letter came and he has to pay $600 each month to his child whom he had with his ex from high school. He abandoned him and ran away to the army but child support finally caught up to him. He said he wouldnt pay and he would jump off the bridge. I desperately tried to help him with both his suicidal problem and his child support problem. I ran around the city looking for good child support lawyers for him and reported him to the suicidal hotline. He had no choice but to have his paycheck deducted from child support. Finally November 2010, he got a new girlfriend whom he met at a rave. I had to find out on facebook that they were in a relationship. He got together with her while both of E. I forgot to mention his drug problem too (started April 2010 when he decided he needed to find his happiness in drugs since I cheated). I was so hurt, and angry that I lashed out at him and also sent his new girlfriend a message on facebook telling her to back off my man. After a huge facebook message fight, she told my EX not to keep in contact with me. So last month, he stopped contacting me at all to respect her wishes. I was thinking that is SO UNFAIR when I told him not to talk to other girls when we were together, he didn't respect my wishes at all! Now it's been a month since we talked and I foolishly went to his house last week to try to see him out of desperation. He told his friend to text me to go home and if I continuously stalk him outside his house, he will pull a restraining order on me. It made VERY ANGRY. I am very hurt, betrayed and broken and dont know what I can do at this point. He is ignoring me and have blocked me from contacting him in all areas. So, I have picked up your book to try to help me get over my first love. I miss him alot but I think that we are broken to the point beyond repair. Sometimes I think if he is willing to come see a therapist with me and wants to work it out with me, we can still make it work. But he doesnt want that since he has a new 30 year old girlfriend pampering him, cooking for him, driving him around, and buying clothes for him. I don't get why he chose her over me? I do alot of things for him too but like he said, because I CHEATED he will treat me like a foolish dormat forever. I'm so depressed.

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=5052024 Mon, 17 Jan 2011 06:37:20 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4650772 Hello Members

I was trying to find a e mail address to ask Lisa Steadman a question on her blog, that was posted on Yahoo the title was the traits of finding Mr Right. Well I guess this forum can shed me some light. First of all I am 49 and single. Never experience up and down relationships, matter of fact I never even had a relationship as considered as even a first date.. I never took a woman for a cup of coffee or walk on a pier. I have friends one is married and the other is divorce, who complains. So you can see the only thing I know is watching other people or what is on TV and Movies. When I am at a table and who ever I am with is talking about the feelings about relating with their partners, I am lost I can't offer advice. Now I been around I have been through the high school years and college. I've been socialize with work and parties and meant a lot of woman, so I have no problem talking and relating my self to others.
As for the traits she mentions I agree with I believe in honestly and respect and that relationship is a 2 way street. To care for a person with your heart and that you give that person also their freedom of what and who they are.
That is where commitments mean something  Now I know that traits of finding Mr Right is that a woman looks for, but I believe also looking for Miss Right means the same thing. SO why if I am looking for that special person how come I never dated or had relationships? Did I try to ask woman for a date?  Yes and of course it has always been a  big NO
Woman either don't like me or something of me is wrong? No one has come up to me tell me that i was ugly or smell bad. I have meant woman whom i felt a connection, but usually all of them are all taken and the only words they tell me "You'll find someone" Well I am tired of that line.
Did I ever try to on line dating?  Yes  and i get no response, maybe from America and my hometown. But 20 year girls from Asia and Africa whom  e mail me telling me they already love me. Right. 5 years ago I fell for that trick and lost money. Now the point is there a REAL WOMAN out there for me? Part of me now is feeling that I want someone in my life before I die alone or the other part is feeling to rip out this curse of emotion of love we all humans are curse with  ALL I ASK IS FOR A LITTLE HELP any little direction at least  As you see I tried to do what we are suppose to do to meet the opposite sex. But I am giving up I am tired of all of this
Any ideas if don't  I will ask NASA to volunteer to go out in space and visit Mars there it is a one way ticket and that I am at least making history.

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4650772 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:27:23 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4596578
Just under 3 weeks ago my boyfriend who i lived with ended it with me.  We hadn't been getting on that well for a few months but i still desperately love him and always thought we would get back on track.  The conversation was so quick, mainly because i couldn't bear to hear what he was saying and we both moved out in the next couple of days.

Since then i've felt awful.  I bought the its a breakUP not a breakdown book, which is fantastic, and my friends have been great but i still can't get through this.  I've had to move back into my mum's house for a while as can't financially (or mentally at the moment) live on my own right now.  None of my friends are moving or have rooms in their shared houses so right now i feel like a failure and that the last few years where i felt i had really grown up and moved out were a waste of time as now i am back to where i was.. i am in my first year of being a teacher and was doing well at it but now am doing appallingly... just can't keep on top of everything.

The biggest thing i am struggling to come to terms with is that before i would wake up next to him every morning, text him throughout the day, go to bed with him every night.  I knew everything about him and now i don't know anything.  i don't know where he's living, who he's with etc.  I haven't contacted him since it happened and he hasn't contacted me and i'm so frightened of hearing he's with someone else. 

Will this feeling go soon?  I really can't bear it.   I went out last night with some friends for the first time since it happened and i just kept looking at every bloke thinking 'you're not as good as my ex'. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.  So tired of feeling this terrible. 

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4596578 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 15:02:47 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4596262 I recently broke up with my bf after 2 years but I've known him for years. Although I have made my list of pro's and con's about our relationship (the con's outweigh the pro's obviously) I still have strong feelings for him. I've been reading Lisa's book and I know that there is someone better suited for me but I can't help feeling sad and guilty for dumping my ex. He is a great guy but he did some pretty unforgivable things to me, things I can't simply get over and I know it will not work out between us anymore. The problem is that he still calls me (about 3x a week). Sometimes it's just freindly and he asks about my day, other times it gets emotional and he tells me that he really misses me and thinks about me all the time. I know how it feels to get dumped and it breaks my heart to put him through that pain. I know I'm suppose to stop all contact but I can't bring myself to ignore or block his calls. I would feel terrible if I told him to never call me again. I'm the one who ended the relationship and I somehow feel obligated to lessen the blow and comfort him. I know I should be pissed about the stuff he did and never want to talk to him again but it's not in my nature and I still care about him. What should I do? He doesn't have much of a support system, he was just told that he will be getting laid off in June, he was recently injured and has been having a hard time getting around, he is still trying to find a place to live after moving out of my place, and the list goes on.. I don't want to add more to all his troubles, although I already did by dumping him. I feel horrible. Any feedback will be appreciated.

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4596262 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 04:55:12 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4586327
My question to all of you is, what do you think I should do? I just can't seem to get over the fact that he is with someone else, and he doesn't want me anymore.... yesterday (February 13th) he said some really hurtful things to me through text messaging.. that he wished he had never met me and that I was dead to him..

I just want to move on so much but with being as young as I am, and still being in High School and pregnant with his child, I feel so horrible. People at school judge me and say that I stuck him because he's supposed to be getting drafted into Baseball right out of High School.

None of my friends understand what I'm going through, and I really need someone to talk to..

Please someone give me some advice, What do I do??

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4586327 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:59:53 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4254325 What do you do when nothing makes sense anymore?
 
My friends have told me I need to write a book because my life has been so incredibly "odd" the past few years.  Someday, I may do that, but they will file it under fiction because no one would ever really believe it.  To make a long story short, though, my boyfriend of almost 16 years and I recently parted ways most horribly.  I made a lot of mistakes giving in to him through the years and not doing things I wanted, but the end of our relationship has me confused.  We had not made love in almost 5 years.  He was having a "problem", and good girlfriend that I was, I stood by him.  But, we were more friends and roommates than anything else.  His personality had been changing for a while and I would say he was not the same person I had started dating.  Well, shortly after my father passed away, I found out why...my bf had brain cancer...stage 4 glioblastoma.  It explained a lot.  But things got VERY weird after his diagnosis. 
 
We lived in a home that I paid the mortgage on, that my parents helped me with the down payment on.  My bf only occasionally helped with the utilities.  He kept all his money in the bank for future needs.  He drove my old car that I had signed over to him when he needed to have insurance in his name.  I drove a hand-me-down van my parents gave me.  Since my father had just passed away, it was decided that my mother would come out and help us while I was working and he was having to be taken care of.  So, I got on a plane to go get her while my bf's twin watched him.  In the 2 weeks it took us to close up her house and come home, my bf had his twin and the twin's fiancee move into my house.  Not only had they moved into my home, they had gone through all of my things (even had my will out on the table!), packed up a bunch of my things, rearranged the house, put all of my photos away and put up all of their photos!  Because my bf was so sick, I didn't say anything.  We weren't home a week when the fiancee of the twin was telling my mother she and her fiancee had discussed it and I needed to move back to where my mom lived and leave the house and stuff with my bf...mind you, the house and everything in it was MINE and had nothing to do with my bf.  They had brought their dog, too, and it messed my house up and attacked my animals, but they wouldn't leave it at their house.  One of my dogs and all of my fish ended up dead.  And my other dog was almost killed.  I begged, I pleaded, I started grinding my teeth in my sleep, I started sleepwalking even...they would NOT leave my house.  My mother finally got them to move out months and months later.  By that time, they were already well on their way to wiping out my bf's checking account (he bought them a new $25K car when he was driving a car that I gave him that didn't run half the time!), they have talked him into changing his beneficiary information from his mother (how I had had him set it up all these years) to them, and they had started something else as well....the 'fiancee' would lay all over my bf on the couch and rub him places I wouldn't even rub him in front of people...I would wake up in the middle of the night and look for him (hoping he wasn't dead somewhere in the house) and find him in their bed (apparently from the looks of things, his 'problem' had gotten better!).  I couldn't understand this because he had been trying to talk his brother out of marrying this woman for years because of her past (picking up people in bars, orgies, threesomes, bisexuality, dating married men, etc. all of which she was VERY proud of and LOVED to tell people about).  Suddenly, he was VERY into her (talking to her constantly, hugging on her all the time, and everything else you wouldn't ever want to walk in on in your own house).  I forgave him because I figured he didn't know any better because of the brain cancer.  The day of our "Big Breakup" it was because he became violent and tried to force me to let them move back into my home.  I told him his BROTHER could come, but I didn't want that woman in my house...he wanted HER, so I told him he had to leave because she was never coming in my home again.  After a long screaming match about how he NEEDED to be in her bed, he left. 
 
The rest of his family never believed me that his twin was taking advantage of him (or the other stuff).  One of his brothers did, but didn't feel like there was anything he could do since they were "family".  And my bf told his old coworkers that the reason I kicked him out was because he was sick.  When one of them came to my house to ask me about it, I told him about the "sick" behavior with the threesomes with his twin and the fiancee...something I would have NEVER told anyone, but felt I had to defend myself for kicking someone out of my house who had brain cancer.  The only three people he ever got violent with were me, my mother, and his mother.  I fear for his mother's life still today because at least my mother and I are out of state.
 
My confusion comes in because there are times he texts or calls me and acts like nothing ever happened.  It's like he didn't scare the life out of me...he didn't sleep with another woman (who, by the way, both twins are living with now and they have a king sized bed)...there are times I see the man I fell in love with and supported all those years and I can't seem to make that final break other people seem to be able to do.
 
How do you make a break when you're breaking up with a ghost to begin with?

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=4254325 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 02:47:30 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3711964
Well, she tells me a few weeks back that she hadn't been feeling the spark really and needed a break. We talked it over and she ended up wanting to work through it. i thought everything was improving and then suddenly she tells me she isn't feeling romantic towards me at all and just doesn't think she should have to try so hard. She wants our friendship back and doesn't feel like a relationship is what is meant for us.

We always talked about our futures together, how we wanted to live in NC, what kind of dog we wanted, how in love we were, all that stuff. Ever since I've known her theres a part of me that has felt like she was going to be the one I was going to spend my life with. Then all of a sudden all my dreams and aspirations are shot down. I've had a really hard time trying to let go. I realize that maybe this is meant to happen so i will find the right one. Everyone of my friends has said that she didn't appreciate all the things i did for her and for awhile she just demanded things of me and gave no love in return. She's talked to me once or twice since that day. It made me miserable, b/c ive been trying to let go and I can't, and that just makes it even harder. Some days I just feel like I lost all direction.

Then this past friday she talked to me for a few online and told me she went to her friend Chris's place cuz he got new kittens. And then I did another stupid thing and looked at her facebook and realized that she just met this guy after we broke up and her status was "haven't been this happy in awhile." It's sunday now and my best friend is her cousin and he called me tonight to tell me that her and this Chris guy were over at his house visiting her aunt and uncle. I feel so betrayed and angry. I don't know what to do anymore. I wanted to hold onto the hope that things could change in the future or that we could at least become friends again. But this makes me feel like there is no love for me anymore that she just doesn't care. Why stab me in the heart this many times?? What should I do..

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3711964 Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:33:28 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3631584 Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3631584 Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:30:41 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3631085

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3631085 Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:31:29 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3599634 Well it's rough to talk about how I feel and I usually just break down but here's my story...
I've been "dating" a guy for 3 three years now.  I met him my junior year and high shool when he was a senior. We had the same class together and hit it off great. We started going on dates and spent pretty much all the time we could together possible.  Things seemed perfect.  After about six months we started getting sexually active. We continued seeing each other off and on, and wen we weren't talking he would go to his ex girlfriend.  I'm now in my second year of college and still "date" this guy. I'm totally in love with him. But i can't see past that we are just dating? Sometimes he's so sweet but other times he totally ignores me. We talk everyday, but he's too selfish and wanting to have his own fun than to commit to me. He says he only talks to me but I'm still totally hurt. He parties constantly, never invites me, never holds my hand in public.. so I feel like he's ashamed of me. He makes me feel so insecure it's crazy. He's the kind of guy who wants to get married when e's like 50 ad have children when he's like 80, and that's just not what I want. He claims he doesn't know what love is and is afraid of it. When I bring all this up he doesn;t comfort me he just tells me I think too much. Than when I talk about us actually being together he says he wants to b wih me just not right now. He says he wants to give me everything in a relationship and jut cant right now? I dont know I'm doing anymore and I just cant seem to leave him. I cry and cry and sometimes feel like the only way I an get over this is moving away? I need help? What should I do?

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3599634 Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:30:59 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3579549
Let me start by telling you all a little bit about myself. Im an outdoor adventurous sporty kind of guy (24 years old). My favourite thing to do is/was to make my girlfriend feel like a princess. I used to take her out to fancey restraunts that we've never tried before, buy her flowers, listen to her problems and give her advice when needed. I'm not the type of guy to want to date many woman and i dont seek any 1 night stands or crave anyone elses attention. I am what you might call a "Nice guy" but nice guys ALWAYS come last.

I had a fabulous girl. We'd been dating for 3 years now and things were going well. However we did have some tough times over the past. I met her when i was trying to get over my previous X (also broke my heart). She was fun and had the same morals and ethics as me. She wasnt as outgoing and spontaneous as me, but i learned to love her exactly for who she was. Over the past year i had been studying 18 hour days just to pass my engineering universtiy exams. I also went to america for 6 months to get away from life for a bit. Things between us remained strong. We chatted everyday and planned a 4 week holiday in the USA and carribean. We had lots of fun.. but had a few fights along the way.

Now comes the big event. about 4 weeks ago i finished my final exams, had my birthday and was loving life. I could now see my girlfriend whenever i wanted to (not only twice a week that studies limited me too). We'd pulled through the tough times and things looked bright for us. However after she had a quick family holiday in London, she got back we had a fun 3 weeks and then out of the blue,

SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

her reason. she thinks we are not right for each other, she loves me and still wants to be friends. She highlighted events that she wasnt happy with (all small things that i could have fixed). She didnt communicate with me about any of these things and as a result she just ended things. She said we need to brake up and maybe we'll see in a month!! Maybe??? ha?

That was a week ago.. and im very depressed. I have a good few friends and family that are trying to help me through this. I want her back more than anything in the world. I know she needs time but i just cant take it.. its killing me. We loved each other and were having the time of our lives. She broke my heart so she could be single for a while. I dont want things to end. Not like this, not now... not at all! Her birthday is in a month, I want to make her a journal of our holiday and all our memories!!???

I really do need advice.. and any other details i left out ill fill you in on...
thanks...
HEARTBROKEN

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3579549 Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:23:19 GMT http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3486290 Join me TONIGHT, May 20 @ 6pm Pacific for a FREE call. On the call, I’ll reveal 7 surefire strategies for healing your heart in record time. PLUS, I’ll offer laser coaching to the first five people who speak up.

Here’s what else you’ll learn on the call:

• Why you may still be hung up on your ex (and what to do about it)
• How to regain confidence after getting dumped
• How to stop feeling cynical about your chances of ever again finding love
• How to handle a workplace breakup and still love your job
• How to forgive yourself for past mistakes
• How to never again give your heart to the wrong guy
• How to recreate happily ever after at any age

To reserve your spot on this exciting call, click here. Once you enter your info, the call details will be emailed directly to you.

Forum: Old Messages ]]> http://lalunalisa.websitetoolbox.com/post?id=3486290 Wed, 20 May 2009 16:26:15 GMT